the bottom of the barrel

OK, so these are the ones you should avoid. Ok, maybe if they are playing on a trans-pacific flight or you are stuck in a hotel room, but really, get a book instead of watching these.

Don't hate me if one of your favorite movies is on this list. I'm sorry, it just wasn't my cup of tea, but I'm really going to have to re-think my respect for you if you really thought Captain Corelli's Mandolin should have won an oscar.

These the the wasted hours of my life. Hours that I could have been doing something better with. And to think there are so many more on this list that I just didn't have the heart to actually type in. Someday I will just so that I can warn others. I tried starting at the end...and it just got too painful.

Jump to:

Recent Movies  (so you don't have to search if you've been here before)
The cream of the crop (Ratings 9-10)
Standing above the crowd (Ratings 7-8)
You get what you pay for (Ratings 5-6)
The bottom of the barrel (Ratings 1-4)

My rating & Genre System 
WIP - movies I want to watch but haven't, also a movie matrix trying to show my top 10, but I have a 100 instead

Movies (ones w/out reviews are prior to 2002 when I began to write somethings about them)	Movie Rating	Nutshell	Genre	Sound Rating	Violence Meter
Adventures of Buckeroo Banzai, 1984 - A major "B" movie, with the high tooting smartest, sexiest and bravest man alive and his intrepid crew of geeks. As I was watching, I just kept thinking it was going to get better and it never did. Really stretches the limits of cognitive thought and the contrivances that are presented are just too unbelievable, even for sci-fi	4	Scientific Superstar saves the world	PopCorn
DareDevil, 2002 - This past few months, I've been doing old and weird movies. I needed a popcorn movie and took the plunge on this offering. Uggh. What a waste of time. I didn't even feel for the superhero. I was not excited. I was bored. The criminal was so pointless, and again coincidences happen out of thin air. Just because it's in the screen play doesn't mean it could actually happen!!! SKIP THIS ONE!	4	Blind Ambition	Popcorn
Green - This is what happens when you write down what happens when you take acid and later decide to make a movie of it. It's never nearly as funny or as interesting as you thought it was. This is a very low budget indy film, filmed in Phoenix Arizona, which actually redeems it a little bit, but not enough to recommend it.	4	Amateur Acid night	Left Brain, Popcorn
The Royal Tennebaums - This is final. I'm giving up on movies with Ben Stiller in them. This movie has convinced me that there are two very different brain types. I can't for the life of me find any of this movie even remotely funny. It's dull, boring and painful to watch. But hey, so many others loved it, I now accept the fact that funny bones are in different places for people.	4	Fueding Dysfunctional  Family	lemon
High Crimes - It was a crime they did this movie. Too many coincidences & too much formula ruined this for me. This was a "set up" movie if I ever saw one. Way too many plot-holes to even call it a Popcorn movie.	4	Military set up	Hollywood
Girl with a Pearl Earing,2003 - Ok, this is barely a chick flick & a boring one at that. I lost interest about 1/2 through. It's a great period piece that tries to somehow come up with how Vermeer painted this most famous painting. While definately a possibility, this is just a ridiculously slow movie that really left me wanting - in fact I left with 20 minutes to go and never regretted it.	4	Painters' visioin	Hollywood
The Man Show,1999 vol1 season1 - OK, I don't have cable & had heard so many quotes from this show that I thought I would give it a whirl. I watched the first 3 episodes and in all honesty, it tries too hard. True, there are some great classic parts, but so many fall flat, I just couldn't bear to waste my time watching the rest of the episodes.	4		TV Series
Lost in Translation,2003 - This is a so-so movie that is basically a old guy who puts on the charm to a younger gal and they both decide to go & have fun in Tokyo together. It's just a story, but I guess the hype and all around this movie turned me off because it wasn't even in the same league as other movies. I just don't get movie critics sometimes.	4		Left Brain
Space Truckers. Dennis Hopper can not redeem this movie. The most hilarious part is watching the "making of" section and see how the directors actually are very serious when they think this will be better than Star Wars & then you see the actors mentioning things like "maybe a B movie".	4	Western Sci-Fi	Popcorn
Rush Hour 2. Uggh...Not even comparable to the first. Skip it.	4	Buddy cops	Hollywood
Proof of Life. Can Meg Ryan look any sadder? Is all she knows how to do is cry? Slow, cynical and boring. Oh well.	4	Ransom love story	Date
2010...hmmm...now why did I watch this again? Prolly 'cause I was so stoked after 2001. This is not even comparable. Oh well...	4	What we should have avoided	Hollywood
Mifune...OK, so it received good ratings and it's an indy Holland film. Grainy as all get out & the sound was horrible. I was fidgeting the entire movie, kept hoping for more.	4	Benny & Joon in their thirties	Date
8 1/2,1963 - This is supposedly a great "classic" movie. This is a LONG movie and it comes in two discs. My wife inadvertantly sent the 2nd disk back to Netflix before I had watched it & to be honest, I really didn't have any desire to re-rent it to finish the movie. It's just a weird movie about a movie director who is trying to get interest in his movie.	3		Classic
Captain Corelli's Mandolin - ARRGGHH. This movie sucked big time. What a waste of talent. I kept thinking we were finally at the end, but NOOOOOO, it kept going & going & going. What a pathetic piece of trash.	3	Story	Lemon
The Bicycle Thief, 2004 - There is a funny story about this. I had this at home for over two months - never watching it and yet wanting to. However, after about the first 45 minutes, I felt I could predict the end quite easily and to be honest - it's a rather dull and boring first 45 minutes - so I turned it off.	2	Losing job transportation	Foreign Classic Lemon
Curb your enthusiasm,2000 vol1 season 1 - Many people seem to enjoy this as a run on HBO, I think. I decided to see what all the hoopla is about & the humor is so dry, I just had no interest in watching any more than the pilot episode. FYI - this is supposed to be like the George Castanza character on Seinfeld - but even more neurotic.	2		Lemon
Wings of Desire,1987 - This is a really, really weird movie about angels and how bored they get watching over us. I didn't get past the 45 minute mark before I stopped it & decided I had better things to do.	1		Classic Lemon
U-Turn, 1997 - The premise is all there, and it's really kind of a remake to the absolutely wonderful Red Rock West, but then again I'm not quite sure. This is just a pathetic pile of trash, I turned it off after 40 minutes or so and wasn't the least bit interested in seeing any more of this drivel. Ugghh	1	Who cares	Lemon	who cares	only saw 40 min
Wings of Honnemaise. I can't believe I bought this because it was rated good on a web site. Now I have to return it.	1	Space pilots	Lemon
Ghost World. Can you believe this got an 8.1 on IMDB??? I can't. This sucked big time. I gave up 45 minutes in & put it back into it's case to return as fast as I could.	1	Adolescent with black boots	Lemon

Jump to:

Recent Movies  (so you don't have to search if you've been here before)
The cream of the crop (Ratings 9-10)
Standing above the crowd (Ratings 7-8)
You get what you pay for (Ratings 5-6)
The bottom of the barrel (Ratings 1-4)